what's really eating gilbert grape?

i couldn't help but see how much i've missed some of the things that i used to do. whatever that is, i won't really delve on it with much particularity. it's just that, i don't even know if i am merely a victim of circumstance or is it really written in my fate that i be who i am now at this day and age. i am not young by any means and yet i don't think i am ever that old to still continue to aspire for things like a sun drenched daydreamer has over the course of his painstaking journey towards blissful contentment of just relishing the thought that someday maybe, things will turn out just as fine.

i am not saying that a certain mid life crisis has struck upon my so called life on the west coast. i never really thought of it that way perhaps. in the first place, i am nowhere near my forties, heck, i'm not even close to being in my thirties. well...i won't flatter myself but i'll soon reach it in a couple of years time. a couple meaning within two or more years. anyways, i have difficulty considering whatever i'm feeling a "crisis" since from the outset, i have always maintained this self content demeanor. unnerved by anything and always seemed composed to the full extent but tell that to a psychologist with his psycho babble shits and my cover will surely be blown to smithereens. Yup, i have this mask on to cover whatever vulnerability i have inside of me, like most people i guess. but is it time to really consider it a crisis? nothing's really eating me up yet like gilbert grape.