the long wait...

it is exactly 30 days till the day of reckoning..and i am not about to wait silently until the long wait consumes me inside out. For so long i have waited for this day to come, and yet it feels like i never want that day to arrive for reasons i reserve only to myself. It's a done deal for all i know and yet i still hope that when that day finally comes, a "new history" will dawn upon me. I've never been in this kind of pressure in my life so far, yet this impending judgment upon me seems like it's going to either burst my bubble or give me such a great relief for making it through. For now, hope is all i breath.