low fidelity

alright, i just got home from work and i was eager to burn a copy of a cd for my sister who came to visit recently. i was supposed to sleep a bit before getting down to it but i got no sense of procastination so i looked for my awesome cd collection in my otherwise awesome car...but to no avail. i was frantically looking for the case in my room, in the kitchen, down in the garage, underneath my sheets, bathroom cabinets, wherever i could have possibly misplaced it somehow..but still to no avail. and then i remember, i drove to san bruno yesterday and thinking it might have slipped out of the car while the door was opened which was the most horrendous thing that could ever occur and up to this moment i fear the worst-- that i might have lost the soundtrack of my life...

what's really eating gilbert grape?

i couldn't help but see how much i've missed some of the things that i used to do. whatever that is, i won't really delve on it with much particularity. it's just that, i don't even know if i am merely a victim of circumstance or is it really written in my fate that i be who i am now at this day and age. i am not young by any means and yet i don't think i am ever that old to still continue to aspire for things like a sun drenched daydreamer has over the course of his painstaking journey towards blissful contentment of just relishing the thought that someday maybe, things will turn out just as fine.

i am not saying that a certain mid life crisis has struck upon my so called life on the west coast. i never really thought of it that way perhaps. in the first place, i am nowhere near my forties, heck, i'm not even close to being in my thirties. well...i won't flatter myself but i'll soon reach it in a couple of years time. a couple meaning within two or more years. anyways, i have difficulty considering whatever i'm feeling a "crisis" since from the outset, i have always maintained this self content demeanor. unnerved by anything and always seemed composed to the full extent but tell that to a psychologist with his psycho babble shits and my cover will surely be blown to smithereens. Yup, i have this mask on to cover whatever vulnerability i have inside of me, like most people i guess. but is it time to really consider it a crisis? nothing's really eating me up yet like gilbert grape.

calm like a bomb

let's just say that i'm bored as hell with the goings on right now especially with the daily grind of things. it's just the same over and over in a repetitive cyclical motion. i cannot complain however routinely it has gotten because it has been the life i have come to choose. i need to make adjustments to accomodate my intention of taking the february state bar and with that choice comes the uninteresting lifestyle of work, study and rest. speaking of study, i haven't brushed up on my books lately and it's two days counting... speaking of work... it's the same old shit but different day...speaking of rest...i am definitely not skimping on any...

thursday i don't care bout you

...it's friday, im in love...with the thought that weekend is almost upon me and as i myself am not a really big fan of the weekend, i,over the past several weeks,have looked forward to it every time since there seems to be a sense of urgency each time weekend dawns upon me. another week down to count out, and soon enough another year beckons. it's weird thinking about '08 this early in mid july since it is merely half a year of waiting till january begins to unfold. nevertheless, the thought that half a year has gone by has given me such positive thoughts that days are going by faster than usual, psychologically of course. i don't know if it's a good thing but having days run pass by is much better than turning back the hands of time. the latter is simply a preposterous impossibility but say that to a certain Stephen Hawking and probably you'd be surprised to find out that in this universe, there are realms of possibilities that even astound the most critical of minds. i say preposterous to the possibility of finding myself back in time since it might be a sign that i am nearing my death, if the notion that once your life flashes before you, you are almost certainly on the brink of breakfast toast. nonetheless, having the idea of having to go back in time seems neat, conservatively speaking. i mean, having the chance to see things you've been a part of repeat itself would literally bring back memories to reality in a flicker. now the question remains.... would i want to meddle in history and change things ? ( omfg, this is such a cheesy cliche)

see, if i did meddle, i wouldn't know if i would be the same person as i am now. not that i hate myself as of presstime, but to have the opportunity to choose between divergent roads to take would put me in the same shoes as that of Mr. Robert Frost. would i take then the road less traveled?

that's why i don't care much about thursday right now coz it has given me so much issues to write about in this little old blog. then again, it might be a whole lot different the following thursday.i'll just have to wait and see.

meanwhile at the hall of justice

another day to write about my thoughts at the moment. this thing came on early and much like a train of thought i would definitely like to contain its unending stream of overloaded information in one blog entry. here it goes....

i was pleasantly lulling over my youth and it suddenly struck me that i couldn't get back to that feeling way back in grade school when all i needed to worry about was getting up early and eagerly awaiting the saturday fun machine on RPN 9. it was a cartoon block featuring the super friends right after the religious vignette, "sharing in the city." the animated series by today's standards would be appalling in contrast to today's unbelievable leaps in 3D animation and computer generated images. nevertheless, the storyline and the fact that super heroes getting together and meeting at the hall of justice was just too tempting to consider it merely a passing fancy. they have resurrected the same flavor in recent years with the " justice league" but it never really got my fancy compared to its predecessor. i am obviously biased it seems but i cannot bargain away the thought that the newer version is better coz it truly pales in comparison. that's why there's always the original and everything else comes in a far second.

there's this other animated series which preceded everything to date...the visionaries. those pokemon kids are as clueless to the fact that the visionaries could deliver some serious ass-kickin...

no killer all filler

this is just a way to fill in more psycho babble shits in this blog. i honestly have no idea what to write about. i have so many things eager to express but just as with anything else, excitement just goes down the drain. apart from the fact that it is already past the unholy hour of 1 in the morning, and after downing a bottle of heine, it just seems perfect to simply lay down and relax. but turns out, i still have my PC on, by sheer neglect and laziness to turn it off for the night, i find myself writing more about nothing...really nothing. so here goes more.....


after a long pause, i really cannot find any more things to write about. maybe i should call this a day. another one beckons tomorrow, whatever it brings, it surely is a nice thought that sleep is just another way of resting this tired soul...

at the drive in

mel's drive- in that is...up in the city, ( that's San Francisco) with a friend of mine from way back. it was rather an unexpected meeting of some sort since i came out of a movie theater reliving my childhood memory of transformers built up in the movie screen before i lay squandered by how much they have "americanized" bumblebee into a chevy camaro ( what a way to trump up the beetle, and the german auto makers at least in a hollywood movie). nevertheless, the movie literally lived up to its hype. i loved it. i knew cars were such beautiful piece of machines and i bet with my bottom dollar that they too have feelings. at least i wanna believe that. like what i always say, your car is the only thing that you will never hear complain through all the troubles you may find yourself into. it simply just keeps mum and goes through a lot but nevertheless, it always stays and keeps you protected. i am a witness to that. i've practically been in a lot of car crashes with my first car, a japanese car at that--nissan sentra ex saloon-- which to this day is still going strong but held in semi retirement. not long ago i had the chance to reconnect with it when i came back to RP for a couple of days and guess what? only a few hours of use, it totally showed me how it felt neglected and i felt for it. its alternator gave in but still got me out of trouble before i even took that long drive to the province. next, a nail was found back in the rear tire being cute and cuddly wanting to get attention to an impending flat tire but again the reliable car managed to go through unscathed. am sure the nine years of everyday that i spent with that car was all worth it and that's why i have kept it in semi retirement. nope, i will never discard that because there has just been so much history that i have spent with it. i am keeping it because it has numerously been my saviour from the crashes i've been through the last being against a HINO 25-wheeler truck that broke the rear windows, sent me half turning and ruined the rear bumper and trunk of my car to smithereens but nevertheless left me unscathed. keeping it will surely be worthwhile as i know i treasure when i find one.

about the night in the city, well, it was just dinner and a whole lot of talkin. rekindling lost friendship, and the days gone by.