mid year in review

first of all, there has been so many experiences that made this year so important in my life. i have realized lately that my feeling of a certain "redemption" was founded on pure instinct and yet by a calculated investigatory accident, then by a stroke of pure cognition, it turned out to be true. she didn't really feel as if this was the life she chose. enough said. i don't even revel at this discovery or celebrate in the light of her depression. the past is truly past. now i realized that indeed things follow a natural and purposeful flow. i didn't choose to hurt anybody, although i must admit that i was consciously doing it knowing fully well that it will eventually have hurt her feelings if she indeed found out. when she did, few years ago, i could not truly say my world collapsed but the pain was there. but priorities had to be set and set they were. the situation as i look back now all seemed like a market economy on a worldwide scale. there was an upturn, a slump and a recession but never did it come to the point of a depression. that thing that occurred few years back was a self correcting mechanism to correct the flaws in the market. that's how things turn out differently at present. true indeed that the goal of finding peace and happiness never stops but i can truly tell that i am more than halfway there. finding myself back to where i once started my journey of finding who i truly wanted to be with brought me back to where i started. i feel as if i am reconnecting my life back to her and hoping that by revealing myself once again would not seem a bit too late to start it over again. the year 2008 has been a good year, even considering the feb calif bar, much of the year has been a very good one for me. finding nikki, surprising her, visiting her, finding my passion for writing letters, opening up myself once again to the idea of finding love and surrendering myself to the emotion has made this year really worth noting.
the year's not yet over though, i have an october date, a november reckoning with the calif bar results, and probably a white christmas in the works in the streets of new york coming my way.